The evil pooberty story OF DOOM
by magicisreal
Summary: In which Starfire wants to kill Puberty, Robin floats, thinks of cheese and tango dances, and people glow. Romantic, Humourous, Random, and a little bit twisted. Gah.


~~~The Evil Pooberty Story. OF DOOM.~~~   
  
Disclaimer- I don't own didly. I don't even own myself. I sold my body to scientists who do experiments on it and give me lots and lots of money.   
  
* * *   
  
"Idiot-Idiot-Idiot-Idiot-Idiot-Idiot-Idiot-Idi…"   
  
"Eh... R-Robin?"   
  
"…Come in," he answered in a lame monotone, mentally kicking himself to the point of bruises. When the door opened, he was extremely shaken to see Starfire. It sounded as if she were BeastBoy; her voice was very odd.   
  
"I feel unlike myself," she said dryly. "May I ask what it was that you did to me?"   
  
"It was called a kiss, Star. Can we please stop talking about it now? I'm not exactly proud of this."   
  
For the first time since they had met, Starfire pushed a subject.   
  
"I am sorry. But I must have answers. My mouth feels extremely dry, and I am having trouble breathing."   
  
"Ah, Yes," Robin replied. He continued to mentally beat himself. He deserved everything he got. "That is because I sucked the spit out of you." Star looked confused.   
  
"I am afraid that I still do not understand."   
  
"I'm afraid that I don't either."   
  
She sat down next to him.   
  
"Whatever it is, you are my friend, and I trust that you respect me as much as any other."   
  
Robin shuddered.   
  
"Yeah, I respect you. There's a teeny thing getting in the way, though. It's called puberty."   
  
"Well, is this "pooberty" a good thing, or a bad?"   
  
"Bad. Very, very bad. It does things that no one should have to go through."   
  
"Well, then we must kill pooberty!" she concluded, a determined look plastered on her face.   
  
"We can't kill it."   
  
"Yes we can! We can defeat anything together!"   
  
"Uh, I really don't think you want to kill this. It would be extremely painful, not to mention embarrassing for every teen around the world."   
  
She sighed, and crumpled slightly at having her wonderful plan squashed. Suddenly, another thought struck her. Maybe she knew what Robin was really going through.   
  
"I believe I understand. On my planet, we learn to dance as teenagers. Dancing is a ritual there, a way of expressing love. Is this what you mean by 'pooberty'?" she questioned.   
  
For a fleeting second, Robin pictured himself in a tuxedo and Star in a bright red cocktail dress, doing the tango in the living room and eating cheese.   
  
…Cheese?   
  
Where did that come from?   
  
He shook his head and addressed Star once more.   
  
"Actually, that's pretty close to what I'm going through," he said, nodding. She smiled peacefully.   
  
And grabbed his hand forcefully, yanking him from the bed and out into the hall.   
  
"What are you DOING?!" he half-choked, stumbling gracelessly as she dragged him to the living room.   
  
"We need more space," she said simply.   
  
"For what?"   
  
She didn't answer, except to fly into the air, Robin still attached to her elbow, clinging for dear life.   
  
"AAAAGGGGHHH!!!!" he yelled incoherently.   
  
"Please relax," she told him. "And let go of my arm."   
  
"Are you JOKING?! I'll go from the 'Amazing Wonder Boy' to the 'Amazing Splatter Boy'!"   
  
"Relax," She repeated. "Once you do you will be able to hold some of my power to levitate."   
  
He did not feel anything remotely romantic about his friend at that moment.   
  
But, he reluctantly sighed, and slipped his grip away from her. To his astonishment, he wasn't dead.   
  
He floated upwards to that he was eye level with Star and felt his (embarrassing) emotions come back in a whirlwind.   
  
"Whoa," he said quietly. "So this is what it feels like."   
  
"Now would you be so kind as to dance with me?"   
  
He gulped.   
  
"Ah… I really don't-,"   
  
"Wonderful!" she said, Glowing. Literally. Glowing. Green.   
  
Immediately, Robin knew what this meant as she took his hands and spun his around. He couldn't dance, but he would try for her.   
  
Fortunately, she was obvious the leader. This became clear as she guided him through the smooth steps in the air.   
  
After a few minutes of this, Starfire spoke up.   
  
"Robin?"   
  
"Hmm?" he replied, getting thoroughly into the feeling of the moment and really doing well on his own.   
  
"I have something to tell you."   
  
His heart thudded.   
  
"What is it?" He spun her around and she instantly came into his arms.   
  
"The effect that I have given you only lasts for a few moments."   
  
He laughed a little, not quite getting it.   
  
"What do you…," But he found out. The wind became unstable again and he fell, and kept falling, until…   
  
He woke up.   
  
"Well," he mumbled, "That would explain the…" he stopped, and rushed to the bathroom.   
  
Starfire was directly outside of his door.   
  
THE END (Thank god!)


End file.
